When Fear Rules the Heart – Part I
“You search the Scriptures, for in them you think you have eternal life… but you are not willing to come to Me that you may have life.” (John 5:39-40)
Over twenty years ago, via my discipleship to Jesus Christ, I learned the liberating truth of the reference above. We keep God at a distance by searching the Scriptures for life-changing truth without approaching Jesus and allowing the Spirit to personally guide us into all truth–concerning Him and ourselves. Many of us merely study God rather than experience Him, which results in a dreadful tedium that inhibits the intimacy of actual relationship with our Creator.
We may do this out of ignorance (until spiritual maturity increases); but it can also be a consequence of fear. When fear is the reason, it is due to an unrepentant heart that insists upon its own way but still expects God’s blessing. This, of course, is pride.
Too frequently I have seen this manifested in souls who proclaim that Jesus accepts them “as they are,” but who then refuse to “be transformed into Christlikeness,” choosing instead to nurture deep wounds, anxieties, and insecurities as an excuse for spiritual and emotional immaturity. Though such souls may remain sincere in their Christian beliefs, their actions reveal them to be lovers of themselves, refusing to work out their salvation toward deliverance, and not consistently seeking to be in-step with the Spirit for fear of judgment and personal inconvenience (Philippians 2:12-16; Galatians 5:24-25).
“I will strike the Shepherd, and the sheep will scatter…” (Zechariah 13:7)
Fear of judgment (and some ignorance) led the disciples to flee when Jesus was arrested (Matthew 26:55-56). And though they knew Jesus intimately on some level, they did not yet know themselves. As is common today, the multitudes–including the Twelve–were delighted to follow Jesus around, observing and learning as they went, but struggling to resolutely gain experiential wisdom toward a mature faith–resulting in Jesus’ frequent chastisement, “Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?” (Matthew 8:26; 6:30; 14:31; 16:8).
Sadly, I have observed this level of fear preventing individuals from experiencing genuinely fulfilling discipleship. Functioning as a discipleship pastor for nearly two decades, I often exhort and articulate the wonders and severity of being a disciple to Jesus Christ.[1] Some souls awaken to the joys of learning, maturing, bearing with others, and receiving spiritual revelation. Amen!
Others become offended as they covet the shrewd confidence of colleagues, or woefully burdened by divinely sanctioned responsibilities they have been neglecting. Such are happy to chat merrily and gush philosophically about theology and discipleship theory; but to explore the deeply vital aspects of prayerful solitude, self-examination, personal transformation, and the clarity of conversion is an odious exercise.
Questions are asked but answers are not truly desired, contemplated, or applied. Years (and decades) go by with little to no growth in spirit or biblical literacy. Edifying fellowship is then mistakenly (or evasively) replaced with socializing in that it is “safer conversation” absent all the vexing conviction. Besides, Jesus died and was raised so following Him would not be so difficult, right?[2] And certainly God understands if we are more passionate about family, vocation, vacation, recreation, social media, and ourselves than we are about Him, His Word, or being obedient… right?
I have also witnessed fear disintegrate a ministry (temporarily) for lack of both discernment and prayerful obedience, even after prophetic warning years in advance. All because of a lack of worship in spirit and in truth as more passion was spent on the cares of the world that choke the Word (Matthew 13:22; John 4:24).
Fear Inhibits Worship
The apostle Paul encourages us to test ourselves as to whether we are walking in faith and permitting Christ to live in us (2 Corinthians 13:5). It is healthy and necessary to regularly evaluate our standing with Jesus, inviting the Spirit to convict us of any shortcomings and to rejoice with us in fellowship. How else are we to accurately gauge our spiritual maturity?
Yet, self-examination is avoided like the plague and transformation is therefore hindered or stunted. Why? Because we would rather not be uncomfortable, especially as a result of conviction and chastisement by the Spirit of God. Projection of one’s own anxieties or vices onto others may occur. And so, when fear rules the heart we are ruled by the flesh and mistake conviction of the Holy Spirit for condemnation of the flesh, which results in an aversion to anyone whom God would use to point out such tendencies.
Even an aversion to God Himself may develop, wherein one manages a pretentious spirituality that seeks to convince oneself and others of an imagined maturity. When prolonged, this attitude develops into an assumption that all is well with one’s standing with God, which can swiftly and subtly become self-deceptive to the point of being unteachable, undiscerning, and spiritually unstable. And if this level of rebellion is nurtured, such souls will learn by judgment what they would not learn by humility and love.
The judgment here does not imply “fire and brimstone” but manifests as chastising difficulty and frustrations in life as we strive against God in the flesh. We may experience false confidence toward self-deceit, presiding anger and hurt, depression, increased enemy oppression, dramatically recurring frustrations in everyday life, relational fracturing with God and others, loneliness, spiritual disillusion and cynicism, and an overall hardhearted unforgiveness (even toward God).
“Your own wickedness will correct you, and your backslidings will rebuke you. Know therefore and see that it is an evil and bitter thing that you have forsaken the Lord your God, and the fear of Me is not in you,” says the Lord God (Jeremiah 2:19).
Souls imprisoned by such a state are often like Jonah, running away from a clear divine calling; or they are like Saul of Tarsus before his conversion, zealously serving God from an assumed and flesh-driven but radically mistaken and destructive context. Insisting on our own way, God will oblige and allow troubles to accumulate until we fall broken and repentant before Him (Acts 3:19; 2 Corinthians 7:9-10; Revelation 2:5; 3:19).
The remedy is to not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. Truly, anyone steeped in church culture would know this. Less known and even less applied, however, is that our self-examination, Bible study, spiritual warfare, and all aspects of prayerfulness must be done in the commonly forsaken context of worshiping Jesus Christ. Otherwise our discipleship is performed, managed, or imagined in the flesh and will not avail much for lack of the Spirit’s enabling and transforming power (John 16:13-15; Romans 8:1-4; 2 Corinthians 10:3; Galatians 5:16).
The Forsaken Context of Worship
Too often, prayer, self-examination, Bible study, and spiritual warfare are (even unintentionally) practiced in the flesh and thus devoid of the Holy Spirit’s power and discernment. As such, the spiritual disciplines become tedious and burdensome, resulting in neglect for want of godly substance. We may know better but we do not do better.
Also, praise and thanksgiving are often mistaken for and/or replace true worship. Both are indeed aspects of worship but are not the essence of worship itself. The Psalms (Psalm 46:10), Daniel 8:15-19, and Revelation 1:9-17 offer glimpses of authentic worship, as do the Gospel records of Jesus’ relationship with His Father (John 17).
Praying without ceasing and offering our reasonable service as a living sacrifice while living out our common lives is certainly a difficult task (1 Thessalonians 5:17; Romans 12:1). Yet as a “living sacrifice” to God our very lives in their entirety can become worshipful and pleasing to Him (Ephesians 5:2). Even so, we must understand that ritual performance can be reduced to mere acts of appeasing a god. Consider that Israel did everything right concerning ritual obedience, but her collective heart was far from the Lord.
Therefore, who we are in Christ is more important than what we do for Him. For example, many people sincerely view spiritual warfare as something they do for God not with Him, which may inflate one’s vanity and merely amuse demonic powers. This does more harm than good.
In truth, we do not wage war in the spirit out of any personal strength or merit; rather, the Holy Spirit wages war through us according to our humble approach and continuing submission to Jesus Christ. Even in the context of spiritual battles our focus must never be upon the warfare or enemy itself but must ever be upon our Savior, His Word, and His love. Worship in spirit and truth then frees us to experience His victory in all areas of our Christ-shared intercession (John 17:20-26).
To Worship In Spirit and Truth… Without Fear
Surely this is easier said than done, as many of us will protest upon realizing we are failing in our obedience to God. And we are all aware that excuses customarily follow such conviction, yet Scripture commands us to be still and contemplate God, i.e. worship Him in spirit and truth (Psalm 46:10; John 4:24). This means physically being still and separating ourselves from all distractions, purposefully placing ourselves at Jesus’ feet to humbly acknowledge that He is God and we are not. Then we invite Him to speak to us as we patiently consider His awesomeness, sovereignty, overwhelming love, and approachability.
In this context we submit our will to our Creator, seeking to know Him so that we may know ourselves as He has created us to be for His Kingdom. Even our carnal fears are subjected to God and replaced with a heritage of robustly appropriate fear of Him alone, for He has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind (Deuteronomy 8:6; Joshua 24:14; 2 Samuel 23:3; Psalm 61:5; 89:7; Proverbs 2:5; Ecclesiastes 12:13; 2 Corinthians 7:1; 2 Timothy 1:7; Rev. 14:7). So let us live as such!
The key to knowing God intimately is to commit to meeting with Him by slowing down life’s pace and asking the Holy Spirit to quicken our yearning to become a pillar in the house of God (Revelation 3:12). Scripture records that Jesus often went alone into the wilderness to pray (Luke 5:16), setting the example of humbling our souls in quietude and inclining our minds toward Christ and His Kingdom (Philippians 4:8).
Only in solitude shared with our Savior and King will we begin to wholly comprehend our celestial identity and the value of our divine mission in this world. Only in such an undisturbed intimate setting will the greatest revelation be granted us so that we might truly see. Only in the shadow of the cross will our flesh and its fears be put to death so that we might truly live.
Notes:
1. For deeper insight see previous entry The “Easy Yoke” and “Light Burden” of Discipleship: Part I.
2. For deeper insight see previous entry The “Easy Yoke” and “Light Burden” of Discipleship: Part II.
[Art by Jules J. Meynier, Christ Asleep In His Boat, 1903]